North of Nowhere

Look on a map and find Nowhere. Then, drive north about 12 hours and that's where we went on family vacation this year. It seemed like a good idea...a little cabin in the woods by a lake in July when Washington is at its hot, sweaty best. My friend Mary and I colluded: get the kids and husbands north to the Adirondacks and relax. What could go wrong with that?

It would have helped if the term 'rustic' was defined in the brochure. As my husband said when we walked in, "if only the dog were slobbering on me - I’d feel right at home.”

Though Patrick thought he found Nirvana when he saw that bait, fireworks and liquor could all be purchased at the same store at the left where the road turns to gravel (That’s your marker if you ever want to find that store). I asked about leaving breadcrumbs, but was told I was being dramatic. I got carded at that store by a guy who was legally blind (as indicated by the outfit he was wearing). I kissed him anyway.

Anyway, this is where we spent $3,000 to drink Beergaritas and play cards in front of a fire while the kids alternately ate straight out of buckets of ice cream and poked at the worms they dug up for fishing. I am happy to report I rolled my seven-year-old for his allowance into 2019.

We, the adults, found the entire week wet, cold, dirty, flea infested, muddy and boring. The kids gave it five stars. Johnny said the bed was so comfortable he felt ‘hugged’ at night. I didn’t have the heart to explain that was because it was missing a box spring and the soft cushion over the bed frame was from the 1920’s and stuffed with hair, I think. Francis said he’d move here if they only had TV for rainy days.

The boys went tubing, hiking, biking, swimming, canoeing, kayaking, fishing and rolling in the mud – perfect American summer. I actually enjoyed the naps by the fire and certainly look forward to spending my card game winnings when we get back to ‘town.’ Patrick was proud he completely caught up on crossword, Sudoku and jig saw puzzles. No that’s something in this neck of the woods!